here we go!
not sure how i feel about it yet. i have been doing alot ALOT of thinking. i realized over the last few weeks of glorious break, that jumping into a new life (new marriage, new state, new school) took more of a toll on me than i realized. last semester was nothing short of stressful and although i wanted to be happy, and had many reasons to be - if nothing else, an incredibly wonderful husband!! - i still found myself unhappy on many occasions.
i started to worry that something was terribly wrong with me. that i was becoming some sort of uncontrollable ingrate. and obviously, that isn't something anyone really wants to admit, right? but the longer i was away from austin and the first few months of our new life, the more i realized just why life was so stressful. all of that to say, i think i have it figured out now. and i KNOW this semester will be better.
negative thinking patterns are so easy to fall into. but as much of a battle as they are, i need to try even harder to overcome them. i don't really "do" new year's resolutions, but i am going to go ahead and claim that one: so that when Gregory wants to play video games with his friends, when his quartet takes up 7/8 of his day, when i have health issues, when i spend three exhausting hours trying to make dinner.... it's not the end of the world. in fact, although i never like to underestimate the problems of any dear soul, it's REALLY not the end of the world.
in fact...my best guy friend from growing up and a bridesman in our wedding :), Noel Thomas, has started an incredible organization called Redeem the Shadows... which, with God's help, will free many of those trapped in sex slavery in India. it's a heartbraking situation. and one which i would definitely like to help with... so much so, that i have decided the purpose of me pursuing a career in the arts should be to put on concerts whose proceeds will go to organizations such as Noel's. this is a baby idea in my head, but one i really believe is going to come together in some shape or form. and when i stop to be bothered over my own problems or slight inconveniences, these thoughts will help me get over myself - and focus on the future.
in the meantime, i am still nesting in our little apartment. since school doesn't start until next tuesday (and even then, that is biopsy day so i won't go - prayers appreciated for that!) zoe and i have been spending a good deal of time deciding where to put various pieces of art :D
i'm really getting into this painting thing. i'm not very good at it. but i do like it and it is a great stress reliever. i did a landscape for my friend dan and a peacock for my niece annabeth.
and that's that.